How I sabotaged my own EC2018 attempt!!!

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How I sabotaged my own EC2018 attempt!!!

(12 posts) (10 voices)

Started 3 years ago by YukonJohn
Latest reply from CaptJackOtter

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YukonJohn
Member

Where did the Pine Forest come from? What about the Oak Savannah surrounded by grasslands? Where are the Bison herds? There should be mangroves. Yep, just ran into another one, thinking it was a mirage. How about the skeletal overhanging trees reaching for the sky out of the mangroves? Is it Halloween? I have to find that opening to Coon Key and beyond into the Gulf of Mexico. The opening is multiple cruise ships wide. How am I missing it? I retrace my steps toward the lights of the small town of Goodland, trying to get a fix from my GPS, and map and compass. The GPS arrow is going in circles. Is it the GPS or my brain going in circles? If I dawdle to long I get blown back upwind toward Goodland. I scream in frustration. I dip my head in the water to clear my fuzzy mind. I am being a fool. I know that. For hours, I have been circling around in this small body of water searching for something I just can't comprehend. In my mind, I am surrounded by inpenetrable forest on 3 sides, and the lights of Goodland off in the distance.

Hours before, Noyesmaybe and Hiawashe passed me just as the light of day faded away. Hiawashe turned on my stern light for me as they headed toward the pass. I was following Noyesmaybe's light, and thought I saw a red channel marker where they were headed. Seemed pretty straight forward, until my mind took a headlong dive into the gutter. The stern light and the channel marker both disappeared at the same moment. Okay, just keep going where you last saw the light!! Disoriented, and sleep deprived, this became an insurmountable task.

My float plan included getting sleep every night. I was physically and mentally ready for the race. My boat was ready as well. I knew from my race in 2013 that I don't function well after pulling an all-nighter. This became abundantly clear, as I took a 5 hour hallucinogenic tour around Key Largo before I actually found the Pelican Cove Motel and the finish line in 2013.

Sometimes people learn from their mistakes. Other times they need it pounded into their heads with a sledge hammer multiple times before they get the picture.

This year, my run to Checkpoint 1 was very good. The wind God's were smiling on all of us. By Monday morning I was still sailing in the Gulf. Dolphins were following me down the coast. It was a day to remember. In this race you have to "Make hay when you can." As night descended I kept sailing, forgetting my vow to sleep; hour upon hour upon hour until the sun came up. By Tuesday morning the wind had shifted, clocking from the South. Admiral Snackbar and I headed into the Gulf again to round Marco Island straight into the teeth of the headwind. It took us a couple of hours to figure out this was a mistake, and headed back inside, fighting the headwind up to Goodland. In retrospect, this cost me the race. If I hadn't tried to round Marco Island, I would have found Coon Key in the light of day, instead of wondering around in circles in the dark.

In 2013 I wrote that "Paddling the backwoods of Florida is like falling down a black hole." A hole I could not get out of in 2018. And I was still 10 miles shy of the backcountry, the Northern end of the Everglades, and Checkpoint 2.

I slept under the bridge in Goodland Tuesday night. Wednesday morning I tried again, fighting the increased headwind until 10:00 a.m., the cut off for Checkpoint 2. I was still miles away, exactly where I had been many times 14 hours earlier. With head hung low, I knew my race was over.

Went back to Goodland where I commiserated over Grouper sandwiches, Beer, Fries, Key Lime Pie, and live music with Dave Gentry (Gentrification) who had ended his race their as well. We found rental cars in Marco. Dave headed to St. Petersburg, while I headed to Key Largo, to watch the rest of Team Wisconsin cross the finish line. It was a beautiful site.

In a Challenge where finishing in the time allowed is winning, I would be hard pressed to say that anyone, myself included, who did not finish lost. We were all out there, fighting our own demons, and putting it all on the table. For the second time I have never felt so alive. And that's why you do these crazy things.

YukonJohn

Posted 3 years ago #
JustAnotherSailor
Member

Good write-up... my team-mate has a few stories about my halucinations. Great to read about yours! Cheers

PS I'm not alone!

Posted 3 years ago #
BeaV
Member

YukonJohn,

Thanks for telling your story. I had heard most of the details before as you had told it to Sandybottom and me over dinner at Mrs Macs. But at that time, your disappointment at not finishing was strong and raw. Sandybottom gave you some good thoughts to ponder.

Your last paragraph of your story above is so true. A “DNF” does not mean you did not win or that you lost. It does mean that you were able to start, able to prepare and commit to something that you knew was going to be hard to complete, and had goals you wanted to achieve. As you said “We were all out there, fighting our own demons, and putting it all on the table”. That IS WHAT MATTERS and the experience gained will always be yours.

Posted 3 years ago #
KayakVagabond
Member

YukonJohn,

Thanks for sharing. To add to what BeaV said regarding DNF, one of my most satisfying ECs was in 2015 (the year it was "cancelled"), where a few of us continued down the coast, but officially we all have a DNF. Likewise, there have been years where my finish looked "good on paper", but I wasn't happy with my performance for one reason or another and felt some disappointment or failure.

In other words, IMO, how you feel about your effort, good or bad, is more important than what is written in the record books.

That said, most people who regulary push themselves usually judge themselves too harshly (I'm certainly guilty of this). Think about the advise you would give if a good friend related to you a similar story as your own.

Posted 3 years ago #
DefiantPioneer
Member

YukonJohn,

Sorry that you didn't achieve your goal, but thanks for sharing the experiance. It was a engaging retelling and let me say, such a strong DNF sure beats any DNS.

All the best,

Posted 3 years ago #
OffTheCharts
Member

Hi YukonJohn

I had the pleasure of sailing along with you for a bit on day one and had wondered how your challenge had gone after that day. Thanks for putting your story out there. It is well written and very interesting. I also agree that just getting out there and fighting the fight is a win!

I have a couple of Pics that I shot of you on day one that I will be emailing to you.

Posted 3 years ago #
MicroTom
Key Master

Quote from Teddy Roosevelt, The Man In The Arena:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Posted 3 years ago #
WindwardMark
Member

Wow, this is a great thread. I'm honored to be a part of this group. It's not about who finishes first, but about the experience. An adventure means that the outcome is uncertain. To feel the wind, the waves, the cold, and the heat. To wonder if the supply of water will be enough. If the nagging pain in the shoulder or the elbow will fade away, or if it will erupt into something that cannot be ignored. For me, it's always about the experience, and it's a pleasure to share it with others who have felt and seen the same things. I remember sailing south in the moonlight down the Naples coast in a fresh following breeze in the company of matching boats, and also pulling into a headwind at night with waves crashing over the bow when I did not know if the hours would bring me to shelter before my feeble arms would give out.

Posted 3 years ago #
YukonJohn
Member

All of the comments about my "Not so glamorous" Everglades Challenge attempt are true. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

However, in retrospect; with some distance between myself and the event, I feel like I could have and should have done more. The old John would never have quit because he could not make it to Checkpoint 2 in time. He would have kept going, pushing himself to the limits of endurance, ending up wherever he might have ended up. The old John, even bloodied and battered has never quit before in any sporting contest. What worries me, is that I have lost the edge that has defined me since childhood. I have to reconsile this within myself. I believe that Watertribers can relate.

I just read two articles in New Yorker magazine:

One detailing the life and thoughts of Polish kayaker Aleksander Doba, who has crossed the Atlantic 3 times in a highly modified (Meaning heavy, and big, with maximum paddling resistance) sea kayak. He is 71 years old, and doesn't want to be "A little gray man" a common expression in Poland referring to just marking time in retirement. He intimately knows what it means to never quit.

The other is about Henry Worsley, a Polar Explorer, who died during his last solo attempt to cross the South Pole on ski's pulling a 325 lbs. sled, in what has to be the harshest environment known to man or woman. The mental and physical fatigue he has gone through on his many Polar Expeditions is unsurpassed in difficulty; almost beyond comprehension.

And to all the EC finishers and non finishers who push themselves beyond what they think they are capable of, I applaud you.

So we will end it by saying that YukonJohn; a Watertribe moniker that conjures toughness, should be renamed YukonJohn (light); a 62 year old, fairly athletic, active, ordinary guy who hails from Madison, Wisconsin, not from the wilds of the Yukon.

Posted 3 years ago #
KayakVagabond
Member

Fix what didn't work, preserve what did work, and kick ass next time! That's what keeps me coming back.

Each EC is a learning experience whether you exceed your goals or temporarily fall short.

Greg

Posted 3 years ago #
BustedRudder
Member

YukonJohn, Thank you for sharing! We learn from our mistakes and from those with the courage to share theirs.

Your being a bit hard on yourself. I have to agree with KV the philosopher who just said "Each EC is a learning experience whether you exceed your goals or temporarily fall short."

None of us are Doba or Worsley, we ordinary people from different towns who go push their personal boundaries a bit and look at the stars. If were lucky enough we get a dolphin escort!

Posted 3 years ago #
CaptJackOtter
Member

Sailing (me) is different from your experience, but this EC 2018 was my GRAND experience without finishing. "Friday The kind of day that when you complete it, it makes you realize that age really can be a state of mind. Your body might say differently, but your mind knew you could. Actually, that is what Friday, Saturday, and Sunday did for me. It was a grand high, way passing a “runner’s high.” There are moments when I wish for the completion, but I remember the passage with kindness and appreciation. I'm 75 and feel stronger and happier because of the Challenge. If there is a NCC, I want to paddle it.

Posted 3 years ago #

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